I never really considered what life would be like and how different it would be being in a relationship with a man who had been married before. I didn't know anyone who was in a relationship with a man who had been married before and had children.  Most of my friends had partners but no one seemed to have a partner with an ex-wife who was active and current 'baggage'. Most people have 'ex' partners who manage to get on with their lives when the relationship dissolves but my partners ex-wife seems incapable of moving on with her life especially when she dedicates so much of it to her hate campaigns. The term 'baggage' fits her so well. I think back to when we first met, my partner and I hit it off straight away, we talked, we laughed and we felt so comfortable with one another. He is such a kind, caring, gentle considerate man I would never have imagined the gravity of the terrible times he had behind him being married to violent, evil control freak.

At the start of our relationship he told me he was separated and that he and his, then wife, were seeking a divorce, they had 3 children and that his soon to be ex wife had found someone else while they were still living as man and wife. He had moved out of the family home two months before we met and was renting a room in house in a small town. We arranged to see one another as often as we could, the more I heard about his ex-wife, the more disgusted I became, I'd never heard of such vile behaviour. She treated him so badly, every time she spoke to him she wished him dead saying she hoped he'd crash his car and die, she had a vile mouth and a violent temper, she didn't think twice about spitting in his face or throwing a wine glass at him.

Within a number of weeks of my partner moving in with me, the legal letters started to arrive from her newly engaged solicitor, the solicitor's fees were being paid by her new boyfriend. It was interesting how things changed, once she found out about me she suddenly consulted a solicitor, stopped child contact and made outrageous demands for money and commenced her one woman mission to destroy my partner because he dared to get on with his life and had found someone. Her desire for revenge far out weighed her desire to do the best for their children, instead they were used as bargaining tools in an effort to get more money. She hated him during their so called marriage so the subsequent divorce would be the battle ground she needed to publicly declare her hatred and disgust at a man she married and the father of their children.

More solicitor letters, more lies and false accusations of harassment - a father wanting to see and speak to his children.  My partner was in shock, not really believing she would stoop this low and withhold child contact, when he called to speak to the children she called BT to block his telephone number, the solicitors letters warned him not to go near the house as he would be harassing her and she felt at risk!! He never once went to the house. So many times I witnessed the double standards when she would block his calls to his children yet she would call my partner on his mobile phone and before he could even speak a word she was screaming and swearing her head off.

She had told her solicitor she was frightened of my partner and of what he might do to her yet she was the violent one always kicking, scratching and spitting! Although we have no proof, we're pretty sure the solicitor suggested and supported her lies, her solicitor was always keen to portray this poor woman as the weak, down trodden mother having suffered a life of hell at the hands of her ex-husband.

The campaign continued, most days there would be a solicitors letter with more threats and demands for money. The letters attacked my partner, trying to make him feel guilty - if you don't pay the huge amounts of money you are a bad father. The letters were very aggressive, the female solicitor representing the ex-wife seemed to have a personal interest in the hate campaign and would make the most of every opportunity to demean my partners role in his children's lives. There were two occasions when my partner was actually 'allowed' by the ex-wife to see their children but it was conditional to him taking cash with him so it could be handed over the ex-wife. My partner would innocently hand over the money and then the ex-wife would lie saying she hadn't receive it.

My partner had to start court action as the ex-wife continued to block access to the children. I had never been to court before. The very first time was with my partner to support him, this was the start of many court visits over the years. I shall never forget looking around and seeing this vile looking miserable female glaring across at me, my partner didn't have to tell me this was his ex-wife.

The first court hearing was a farce, the ex-wife and her solicitor tried so hard to belittle and bully my partner. She falsely claimed my partner was harassing her and 'her' children and she wished to withhold her new address. She would only inform the court the area she was moving to without the specifics of her new address. At this same hearing my partner wished to inform the court of our new address, I wish I could have seen her face drop when she discovered we were moving to the same county as her and would be living less than 20 miles apart! None the less, she insisted she wanted her address withheld so she and the children could settle into their new home without fear of harassment from my partner.

It is pathetic how the court system allows and supports her lies because she is female and a mother of children, never mind her providing any evidence - he is guilty because he is a man and she said so!! It didn't matter to her how much their children missed and wanted to see their dad, the most important factor to be addressed was her request to withhold her address so SHE could settle into a new life with HER boyfriend. A CAFCASS report was ordered by the judge.

Everything seemed to take forever, over the months she made more and more false claims of harassment, trying hard to reinforce her lies so the judge would order her address to be withheld in a court order. All part of her 'new life' that didn't include the children having contact with their father. She was like a stuck record, kept going on and on and on about the same things perhaps put a slight variation in but it was still the same lies. There was never any evidence, quite simply, there was never any harassment. My partner didn't know where his children were living and with whom, in yet another solicitors letter it said she was wanting to have peaceful time with the children and her new partner. Once again, the children's father was bottom of the list, he was not important and the children's wishes to see him were ignored.

Over the weeks when he was 'allowed' to see his children again, they started to call him by his first name because their mother had told them their 'future stepfather' was to be called dad and their biological dad was to be called by his first name as he didn't pay enough money and therefore couldn't be called dad! How evil is that, it hurt my partner but he knew the despicable standard she had but what about the young children?? Confused, upset, did she care, did she hell!

An interim contact pattern was established. My partner would go to a car park to collect his children and be subjected to verbal abuse from his ex-wife and from her boyfriend. The children witnessed it but she didn't care, she was doing what she wanted to do and her hatred for my partner was more important to her. My partner would ignore the abuse being yelled at him, he would try to get the children into the car and drive off only to be followed by her and her boyfriend in his car, they'd be driving so close to my partners car and doing stupid manoeuvres with no regard for the children's safety. What kind of woman would demand such irresponsible behaviour of her boyfriend and put her own children's lives at risk?

My partner's contact (only made possible through his reinforced court orders) with his children has always be difficult to varying extremes. The children are always delighted to see him yet often they are very emotional, confused and difficult repeating terrible things their mother has said. Thanks to their mother's blind hatred of their father, they have not been allowed to have a normal childhood. Instead, they have been wrapped up by their mother's pathetic efforts to forever run their father down.

She tells them about the courts, she shows them the CSA cheques and sadly, two of them share her views that their father is bad because he doesn't pay her enough money! She has fought and lost the battle to block the children seeing their grandparents and extended family on my partners side. She told the children her parents were dead when they were still alive. Two out of the three children are receiving psychological help at school because she has totally screwed them up and in doing so, has probably robbed them of normal, happy childhood free of adult issues and hate campaigns.

Over the years her lies continue. She will do everything she can to block my partner having any contact with the children's schools. She has lived in a number of locations and moved the children from school to school, each time she meets the new head teacher she leads them to believe my partner is a bad father, was a bad husband who beat her and is restricted by the courts to seeing his children. Each time my partner has to counter as her lies. Schools, like the legal system, seem to willing to believe the mother and side with her regardless if she is a bare faced liar, all of the school my partner has had to deal with have treated him so badly, doubting him and believing he is evil all because the ex-wife sat in front of them and lied.  She is a woman and she is the mother of three children, he is a man and she said he was bad so it must be true.

I could go on......