We fell in love instantly and all the while I was telling myself how wrong I was and asking myself 'what the hell was I doing'. He was sure about his feelings for me and told me he wanted to leave his wife. His children were very important to him but he knew they would naturally stay with their mother.

The separation was made complicated by the fact that we all work for the civil service in the same department. He told her that we had been having an affair and that he was leaving her but would always be a committed father to his kids.

I have always tried to put myself in her position and of course the initial backlash was to be expected and I dealt with it. We both lost friends my partner and I, which is ironic because affairs are common in an environment such as ours and yet those that do not have the courage to walk away from something that is potentially wrong often receive a slap on the back or a nudge and a wink!

In the early days he would see his children only when she let him. One good thing was that her part time shift pattern often allowed him to do the childcare. He adores his children and I always knew that.

We moved in to a one bedroomed rented flat. It wasn't cheap but it suited us. At that time there were no issues about where the children would stay because she would not allow them to meet me. In addition to our rent bill, my partner was still paying £1100 per month to his ex-wife so that she could remain in the marital home. We paid that amount for over a year until she finally came up with a financial solution. She re-mortgaged and took his name off the deeds and they agreed to go through the CSA to determine just how much my partner was required to pay. Although he left his share of thousands of pounds in equity, things were looking up. The CSA worked out an amount that seemed reasonable and finally I had met the children.

The children were wonderful. At the time they were only 3 and a half but they made it so easy for me. I was warned by a mutual friend I may have difficultly with my partner's little girl because she 'was like her mother'. But in fact when I met her I instantly saw that she was very much like her father - a sensitive individual, crying out for love and attention. Her twin brother clearly got more attention than she and as a result we bonded instantly.

I mentioned the CSA payments. They were reasonable and as both of us were on fairly decent salaries, this gave us some extra cash to spend on those weekends we had the children.

Soon we bought a property. It is a lovely two bedroomed semi with a very large living space on the ground floor. Absolutely perfect for the children, this being the comment I first made when viewing the house. Although there are a couple of downsides. Firstly we have a hefty mortgage and this is because its a reasonable distance from London where we both work. But only 35 minutes from the children. The other downside is with this hefty mortgage there is little money left to extend into the loft for a third bedroom. On viewing the house this was another comment I made. My partner has always been aware of my wish to have my own family and a third bedroom or space to create a third bedroom was always on my 'must have' list when buying a place.

So there we are....they are now divorced and I would like to start a family. That however, is another story because even though my partner openly expressed his wish to have children with me three years ago, things seem to have changed in his mind. He is very hesitant now and unwilling to discuss it. And that's where many of the big arguments begin. Along with the fact that recently my partner and his ex-wife decided to leave the CSA (we all knew it was about to fall apart) and agreed the child support payments between them. They used the CSA's guidelines and added a large amount each month on top of that. This was decided between him and her without consulting me. This leaves us struggling every month (already mentioned the hefty mortgage) and unable to do much with the children when they come and stay with us. Fortunately during the winter months they love to draw and play games and in the summer just love being outside.