I met my partner about a
year ago after spending two years alone dealing with the aftermath of an
abusive relationship. To be honest, I was not looking for anyone special,
but just wanted to start "living" again. Life has a habit of playing
tricks on us though and I ended up meeting my soulmate and the man I have
been looking for for most of my life.
On our first date, my partner told me he had a past - namely an
almost-but-not-yet-ex-wife as well as two daughters (now 15 & 13) who
lived with him on alternate weeks. My immediate reaction was to pull back
a bit; I wasn't sure what his feelings were towards his first wife and
didn't want to get caught up in the emotions of a potentially difficult
divorce. I knew she had left him for another man and was concerned he
might still love her or he might be wanting a stop-gap relationship until
he could persuade her to come back. However, we carried on meeting "just
as friends" but soon realised there was a lot more than friendship between
us. By this time I had come to see that I had no reason to fear that he
wanted to be with her and he had accepted the marriage was over bar the
paperwork.
When we realised things were getting serious, my partner told his
daughters he had a girlfriend. They were delighted and immediately wanted
to know when they could meet me. We decided to take it gently, but
eventually I met them and we all got on really well. After a while, I
moved in with him and we settled into a good routine of a week of just us
followed by a week of all four of us. It was really good, almost too good
....
Suddenly it all changed. The girls announced they were going to live with
their mum all the time and moved themselves and most of their belongings
out. Arrangements are made for the girls to visit and then cancelled at
the last minute by the girls because they are going out with friends/doing
homework/going shopping with mum etc etc. Now we have a court case going
on where the judge and CAFCASS seem happy to accept lies and half-truths
from her and the girls without any questions about why they are making
these claims now; my partner has seen his daughters 3 times in 3 months
(for a total of less than 2 days) and is missing them so much it is
affecting his health; the girls phone him spouting abuse about both of us
and have now told him they never want to speak to, hear from or see him
ever again.
Somehow, my partner and I have become stronger as a couple through all
this, but it hurts so much to see him suffering the way he is. I keep on
hoping that the girls will see sense soon, but somehow I don't think it is
likely to happen. I have no idea what their mother's motivation is in all
this - after all, she supposedly wants to marry the man she walked out on
a 21-year marriage for.
